R

Today is the 1st day of a new year. Today, we start 2021.

I realised I have always blogged about the things that make me unhappy, focused a lot on the things I do not like. Unfortunately, these are the things which bogged my mind most of the time.

So from today onwards, from 2021, I will strive to be wise. Leave what has already been left, and move forward with what I have. It's okay to have only a few, because the few is worth it.

"It's okay to fall apart sometimes. Tacos fall apart and we still love them." - Anonymous

I think I really need these reminders right now...

"WHEN SOMETHING BAD HAPPENS IN YOUR LIFE, JUST YELL 'PLOT TWIST' AND MOVE ON." - Come to think of it, I am always doing this! Just that I use the very local term 'Suay' instead. Today I met 2 suay langs. Jin jia suay. Thank goodness this is the first and last time I will be meeting the 2 of you. You 2 are really birds of the same feathers and luckily for the rest of the world, you 2 are flocking together by yourselves in a little corner. May I never have to meet you 2 again. Good riddance.

"TRAVEL IS THE ONLY THING YOU BUY, THAT MAKES YOU RICHER." - Truth is, I think the trips I enjoyed 99% of the time are the trips with my parents - no need to worry about where to go, how to go there, what to do. Also, I've travelled for a 1+ year trip. I truly enjoyed the days on the road (not the in between destinations kind of roads as I am mostly very very stressed a lot of the times and I cannot sleep because I am SUPPOSED to be watching/instructing where to turn/go just because I'm not driving) where I am walking or in a national park/doing an intended activity. Rest of the time is up for debate.

"EVERYDAY MAY NOT BE GOOD, BUT THERE IS SOMETHING GOOD IN EVERYDAY." - Today, the best thing that happened was that I ate mee rembus and satay with my parents. Should I mention the bad? Might use up the word count though. (Guess not, just refer back to the 1st quote explanations for the gist of the main bad thing today.)

"BE SMART. TRUTH IS, WHEN YOU'RE DOWN, NOBODY WILL BE THERE FOR YOU. IF PEOPLE ARE THERE, MOST PROBABLY THEY JUST WANT TO GET YOU LOWER. THEY JUST WANT TO JUDGE YOU BY THEIR STANDARDS. AS IF YOU WEREN'T FEELING BAD ENOUGH, THEY WANT TO REASSURE YOU THAT NO ONE CAN BE TRUSTED. ONLY A LUCKY FEW WILL HAVE PEOPLE STANDING BY THEIR SIDE EVEN WHEN THEY ARE WRONG, JUST BECAUSE IT'LL MAKE THE PERSON FEEL BETTER. SO USE THIS AS A MOTIVATION TO PUSH YOURSELF UP, AND THEN GRACIOUSLY ALLOW THESE PEOPLE TO KILL YOUR ARSE WHEN YOU'VE BECOME SUCCESSFUL." - AMEN to this for my 30 years of life. Okay, maybe just the last few. Haiss, since when did I become such a negative person. What happened to me :(

"IF YOU'RE NOT MAKING MISTAKES, YOU'RE NOT DOING ANYTHING." - Erm...but it feels bad when everything you do is a mistake (or is made into one by others).

"IT'S NOT WHO I AM UNDERNEATH, BUT WHAT I DO THAT DEFINES ME." - I think I conveniently forgot about this and was so focused on fulfilling karma's goals (which happens to be throwing shit back at shit-deserving people's faces). Okay, come on! DO GOOD, BE BETTER.

"PEOPLE CAN PUT YOU DOWN THROUGH THEIR ACTIONS AND WORDS, BUT AS LONG AS YOU KNOW WAHT YOU WANT AND LIVE FOR YOURSELF, THE PEOPLE WHO LOVE YOU WILL UNDERSTAND AND YOU CAN LIVE YOUR LIFE WITHOUT REGRETS." - Wow, how was I this sophisticated before? Time, please turn back to 2013/2014 ish? Thank you very much.

"GO WORK UNTIL YOU GET THE JOB YOU WANNA HAVE" - What job do I want exactly? I have no clue. I'm just super grateful that I don't have to travel far when I go to work (I appreciate this because I've travelled for 2h+  and 1h+ everyday for a few years because I needed to go somewhere far) and also hopefully helping to improve someone else's life in some small ways (meaningful work). I miss some of my old colleagues, but I do have some nice colleagues here too.

"LEAVE THE BAD, APPRECIATE THE GOOD. BELIEVE IN KARMA, AND THE WHOLE WORLD IS BLUE." - Again, what happened to me (where did my sophistication go? -.-). And again with the karma, please let karma do what karma's supposed to do and focus on my own thing.

"DO GOOD AND EVEN LIVING A NORMAL LIFE IS GOOD ENOUGH." - How even. Please return to my body, the 23yo me.

"MY PARENTS USED TO TAKE ME TO THE PET DEPARTMENT AND TELL ME IT WAS A ZOO." - Well, perception is very important and that I have learnt. It's really difficult to perceive something positively when associated with a bad thing. But once you learn to perceive things positively, your world can change 360 degrees (okay, not bad, there's still a small level of poetic blood left in me).

"THE PURPOSE OF LIFE IS TO LIVE IT, TO TASTE AND EXPERIENCE TO THE UTMOST, TO REACH OUT EAGERLY AND WITHOUT FEAR FOR NEWER AND RICHER EXPERIENCE" - Come to think of it, I've worked a couple of jobs and experienced a couple of things in life. When I'm getting too comfortable, life always jots me back with a few tough truths. Guess that's to keep me grounded and not get too comfortable. I hope I pass my current test because it's becoming a little too tough to handle. Mind, Brain, you guys can do it!

"MY THERAPIST TOLD ME THE WAY TO ACHIEVE TRUE INNER PEACE IS TO FINISH WHAT I START. SO FAR TODAY, I HAVE FINISHED 2 BAGS OF M&M'S AND A CHOCOLATE CAKE. I FEEL BETTER ALREADY." - OMG hahaha, I'm still so feeling my old self. Never thought that the thing my young self should/can say to my old self is "I'm so cool, you'd want to be me". So much for ageing gracefully.

"A SMOOTH SEA NEVER MADE A SKILLED SAILOR" - Gobsmacked. Okay, at least my vocabulary has improved.

"WHEN YOU LEARN, TEACH. WHEN YOU GET, GIVE." - This might be the most simple, cost the least and yet impact the most of all. Tells myself : "Share. Share. Share. Share. Don't be selfish. Share."

Okay, was planning to relook back at 30 quotes, but I'm stopping at 15. Blogging is kinda therapeutic, I'm already feeling much better today (or yesterday to be exact). To the 2021 me, "More smiling, less worrying. More compassion, less judgement. More blessed, less stressed. More love, less hate." - Roy Bennett, "Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn." - John Maxwell, and "Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die" - anonymous.

P.S. 2020 was a different time. Masks became mandatory, and everyone suddenly wanted to breathe freely. I would say, staying home and doing nothing has been something I have always excelled at. Not sure why people don't enjoy this but I do.